Lead Forensics
Prettys Solicitors Ipswich



New Year, New Approach?

March 2017

In the first few months of each year, when people start putting into action new life plans and resolutions, divorce lawyers often receive a surge of enquiries.  With most separations and divorces taking several months to conclude, many hope that next Christmas will be better than last Christmas.

Behind what appears to be a simple enough resolution sits a need for complex deconstructing of emotions, adult and children living arrangements, financial arrangements and wider family involvement. One person’s decisions to separate, particularly if it is a decision not easily accepted by the other person, can set off a multitude of foreseen and unforeseen difficulties and the consequences can take some significant time to resolve.  A natural emotional reaction may be for an individual to pull against what they feel is being imposed upon them, but this can lead to a downward spiral of animosity and acrimony from which it is hard to recover.

There is no doubt that a separation handled well is more beneficial for emotional health and the managing of practical living arrangements moving into the future. The impact of separation is usually felt hardest by children who will be worried, confused, upset, even angry, that sudden life changes are being forced upon them.  It is imperative therefore that parents put adult emotions to one side and focus on the children’s future to try and contain worry and confusion. Constructive conversations are essential, and it is most sensible to agree a new life plan that is not presented to the children until researched in terms of affordability and agreed as suitable by both parents.

To this end, anyone facing or contemplating separation should think about how difficult conversations such as these can be managed within the natural maelstrom of emotions.  The answer is to bring in objectivity – someone who is not emotionally involved with either party and who can instead gently reality-test practical plans to assist the couple in moving towards an outcome that is good enough for everyone involved. 

Prettys offers a Talking Works service, which has been specifically conceived by the family law team to encourage couples to engage with each other positively, discuss issues, and work towards shared goals such as what is best for the children.  Prettys can offer mediation and round table discussions (without or without solicitors for each individual), as well as offering background legal advice to those can talk direct at home.  The Talking Works service is available from any angle of a separation, so can also include grandparents or other family members who are worried about losing contact if parents are separating.  Talking Works is a bespoke service tailored to the needs of those wanting to try and resolve family difficulties without having to resort to court. 

Prettys’ family team are highly experienced solicitors and mediators.  They can offer a real breadth of experience and expertise on the most complex of family disputes, whether within a discursive process such as Talking Works, or for those individuals for which court action is unfortunately unavoidable.  Prettys’ family team are highly rated in Legal 500 and Chambers UK, which recommends solicitors, and welcomes confidential enquiries about their services.

Georgina Rayment

Senior Associate and Mediator

e grayment@prettys.co.uk

t 01473 298344

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