When a marriage breaks down, some couples want to be able to sort it out with the other spouse but realise that will be very hard to achieve. There can be difficulties around anger or emotional distress over what has happened in the relationship. It can also be the case that one of the couple simply doesn’t have the knowledge or confidence to work with the other, direct.
Help can be at hand with the use of Mediation. This involves a trained Mediator whose role is to facilitate the couple reaching solutions for issues that arise from the ending of the marriage. Mediation is voluntary so both of the couple have to be prepared to give it a try. The process can deal with all or some of the problems that crop up and whether about sharing the care of the children or dividing the financial assets.
Process of mediation
- Both of the couple have to indicate they want to try mediation.
- You can ask for a recommendation for a choice of Mediator, or, choose a Mediator from the list available on the Resolution website https://resolution.org.uk/. Resolution is the national organisation for family solicitors and related professionals so is a useful support.
- The Mediator then assesses whether the case is suitable for mediation by meeting with each of the couple. If the Mediator doesn’t think the process will work, this is explained and alternative ways of working are suggested, if possible. If Mediation is suitable, then joint meetings start. These meetings can be face-to-face physically in a room normally at the Mediator’s office, or, by remote meetings such as via Teams or Zoom. If it is difficult for the couple to sit in a room together (or see each other on a remote connection) then the Mediator can look at alternatives that keep the couple separate.
- Mediations will often resolve matters in 4-6 meetings, potentially over a 4-6 month period but it takes as long as it takes to reach solutions that resolve the issues.
- At the end of the process, the Mediator will reflect on the outcomes reached and discuss how these can be converted into documents which can be relied on by the couple.
How Prettys can help
There are very good reasons for using Mediation. It tends to be one of the most cost-effective ways of working as it tends to be relatively fast and time-limited in terms of the cost of the Mediator. Additionally, commitment is generated by the process - the couple can see they can reach common ground, working together with the Mediator, so it gives confidence that talking things through, with assistance, is a good way to work. At Prettys all of the solicitors in the Family Team are Mediators and Victoria Mayhew, who heads our Mediation service, is also one of the few Accredited Mediators in the region. Contact us to talk through if Mediation will work for you by clicking on the 'contact us' panel on the right hand side of the article.
